I Remain a Woman

Shabana Stanekzai

One can learn being a woman in high heels.
The paths that men walk with sneakers, I run with heels.

They still laugh at me.
They target me from the other side of the eye holes of my chadari.
They perceive weak
My shaking fingers wrapped tightly around a pen.

Can one be happy here
When Rukhshanas rise up from their graves
To wash the bloodied faces of Farkhundas
Using tears borrowed from God?

They still laugh at me,
And I have seen womanness
Through the mirrored eyes of men
And planted the seeds of a thousand
Unintended fears and shame in my heart.

Believe me, I still have doubts
When you shake my hand
And I can feel your lust
As foul-smelling as rotten eggs.

But I remain a woman
In my high heels
And every day.

*Chadari is the Persian word for the blue burqa commonly used in Afghanistan.

**Rukhshana: a young Afghan woman who was stoned to death by the Taliban in Ghor Province in November 2015.

***Farkhunda: an Afghan woman who was burned, stoned and killed by a mob of angry men for the false accusation of burning the Quran in March 2015.

Read this piece in Persian here.