What Makes You a Man?

Zahra W.

You tell me that you are superior
Why? Because you were born a man?

I loved you,
Not so that you could own me,
But for you to soothe my soul.

Naively, I gave you my heart
Not so that you could play with it.
You gave it back swollen and hurt.
Why? Because you were born a man?

I laugh at my misery because I have to.
You laugh at me.
I raise my hands in protest.
You gain respect by breaking my hands.
Why? Because you were born a man?

I write.
You hate.
I love.
You hate.
I speak.
You hate.
Why? Because you were born a man?

If another man doesn’t behave like you,
If he doesn’t seek his power in my silence,
If he doesn’t find his masculinity in breaking me,
If he doesn’t follow your path,
You tell him he is acting like women.

Is living with dignity against masculinity?
Is being female an insult?

If he respects me,
If he is kind to me,
If he values my humanity,
He is not a man?

If he makes me happy,
If he gifts me flowers instead of throwing punches,
He is a “chicken,” “a weakling,” “a slave?”
Why? Do you alone define masculinity?

Our world is strange.
If being Namard* is an insult, I am Namard.
If violence makes one a man, he is Namard.
I take pride in being a person.

*Literally, Namard, means “not-man.” It is used as an insult to men who behave against the societal norms of masculinity.
Feature photo courtesy of Massouda Kohistani.

Read this piece in Persian here.