“Womanly” is not an insult

Marzia

Strict gender roles govern almost all aspects of society and culture in Afghanistan. According to our societal norms, women’s responsibility is to protect her family’s honor by staying at home and raising children. Working in public and being the family’s breadwinner is often thought of as only the responsibility of men. Even today, women are often seen as their family’s property and given few choices about who they want to marry or how they want to live. Societal gender norms impact both women and men. To be considered a good woman, women have to obey all the family and society’s restrictions and norms and men have to prove their masculinity by being angry, tough and violent. Unless we challenge these gender roles we will not be able to fight other forms of gender-based abuse and violence that have become a part of our society.

Afghanistan’s media could play an important role on changing these harmful and negative cultural norms. Many journalists and producers have taken it onto themselves to use their platforms to fight against gender-based violence, but unfortunately some of our media have also had a more negative impact because they perpetuate these stereotypes and gender roles. An example of this is media and political figures using femininity as an insult. For instance, we often see pictures of President Ashraf Ghani, CEO Abdullah and other famous male politicians that have been Photoshopped to look like women. By doing so, their opponents intend to shame them. The insult goes beyond attacking political opponents. Even those who are against the Taliban use this gendered language to discredit them. Because there are many images of Taliban dressed as women in burqas to carry out attacks in disguise, many mock them by calling them our “unhappy sisters.” This is poking fun of the former President Hamid Karzai calling Taliban “our unhappy brothers.” In these “jokes” the words “sister” and “woman” are used as insult as if being feminine is the worst thing a man could do.

In Afghanistan, the words “Ghairat” which means honor and “Zan” which means woman are linked to each other. If a man fails to fulfill his responsibilities or fails to “protect and control his women,” he would be called “Bighairat” or “Zancho/Zancha (like women).” Men who are seen as “unmanly” or as failing in fulfilling the standards of masculinity are shamed for “being weak like women.” Being called “Bighairat” or “Zancha” is often considered the biggest insult for a man. Once a man is marked as being feminine, he is no longer considered honorable and will not be respected by his society anymore. The Photoshopped images of powerful men that cover their faces with makeup and their head with “feminine” hair invokes this image that these men are like women and therefore they are weak, inferior and unworthy of respect. They re-establish the sexist point of view that women aren’t worthy of respect.

In addition to the Photoshopped images, many comedy shows also perpetuate our society’s strict gender roles by promoting a stereotypical and comedic version of what women are like. Men dressed as women, wearing makeup and speaking in irrational sentences in loud shrieking voices to play women’s parts not only make fun of women, but also perpetuates the very stereotypes that are used to justify violence against women. Instead of dressing a man up in women’s clothing to portray a comedic and unrealistic representation of women, why can’t we hire female actors and comedians? Why can’t we train women to perform these skits?

Whether it is Photoshopping men’s pictures to make them look feminine and less worthy of respect or men performing women’s parts in skits in over-the-top portrayals that represent women as crazy and stupid comedic effects, we have to learn that being a woman is not a joke and femininity is not an insult. These kinds of representations and images of women are damaging and harmful. They perpetuate negative views about women and promote the idea that being a woman or “feminine” is a matter of shame. These portrayals literally equate womanhood with ridicule and lack of respect. It is time for TOLO and other Afghan TV stations to change these harmful images and messages and replace them with respectful and realistic portrayals of women.

 

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