Afghan women face verbal and emotional violence too

Shabana Stanekzai

Violence against women is one of the most prevalent forms of human rights violation around the globe. Gender-based violence is not a new phenomena but recently more individuals and communities have woken up to it and began fighting against it. Despite the increased activism, even today, in many parts of the world gender-based violence is tolerated in the name of culture and tradition.

Gender-based violence takes different forms in different parts of the world but over all it consists of behaviors and acts that lead to the isolation, disrespect, humiliation and physical, mental or social harm to a person and prevents them from reaching their full potential. There are many theories about why gender-based violence is prevalent. War, poverty and other social and political issues definitely play a role in how prevalent this problem is, however one can not ignore the significant role patriarchy plays in  promoting violence against women and providing impunity to those who commit it.

Thanks to Star Educational Society for joining our campaign against gender-based violence.
Thanks to Star Educational Society for joining our campaign against gender-based violence.

Some might argue that violence against women is rooted in the need for humans to dominate with one another, however history has been witness to many communities where that need does not appear. In addition, even if humans are wired to seek superiority over one another, violence is not necessarily the “natural” way to do that. In fact, those who seek violent domination often do so not because there are no other options to prove their worth to society but because they know they will not face repercussions and they take pleasure in violent acts.

When we talk about gender-based violence, we are often talking about physical violence. After all, according to World Health Organization, one in three women worldwide face physical or sexual violence. In addition, physical violence is more noticeable and harder to ignore, especially in Afghanistan where every week there is a report about a woman being maimed or tortured. In our minds the word “violence” has become synonymous with physical violence. Physical violence exists to different degrees in nearly every arena of society. Human Rights Watch statistics show that 87% of Afghan women have faced violence at home. But according to the Ministry of Women’s Affairs, despite its prevalence, only 10 percent of cases of gender-based violence lead to any legal action and a minuscule number lead to any prosecutions.

When we talk about these cases of violence, we are often focused on physical violence, however it is important to realize that physical violence is rarely just physical. Women who face this kind of violence also experience mental, verbal and emotional violence which lead to depression, fear, fatigue and other forms of trauma. Except for differing physical implications, physical and sexual violence and emotional and verbal violence often have the same repercussions for the mental and social well being of women. However it is unheard of for an abuser to face repercussions for emotional and verbal violence. In fact the verbal and emotional abuse of women is rarely seen as abnormal in Afghan society.

Street harassment is an example of this kind of violence. On a daily basis, women are insulted in the streets of Kabul and other major cities, simply for being in public spaces. They are called whores and stalked on the streets, but women also face verbal violence at home. It is seen as acceptable for male family members to insult and degrade women with their words, compare women to one another, question women’s intellect or mock them. The fact that our society gives preferential treatment to boys and tells girls that they are not allowed to do the things their brothers do is violence. This that we prevent girls from sitting or laughing freely is violence. This that we mock who are unable to have children, or women who only have girl children, is violence. This that we call women who work outside the house “loose” is violence. All these acts of violence have long-term effects on women’s mental and emotional well-being, but they also impact how women live their lives in society and shapes their societal status.

Without a doubt any kind of physical violence against women is unacceptable, but it is time we acknowledge that it is not the only type of violence women face and it is often accompanied by non-physical abuse. We must dedicate ourselves to fighting all forms of gender-based violence. 

Read this article in Persian here.