Shabana Stanekzai
The sexual harassment of children in our society is nothing new, but we rarely speak about it. A few weeks ago, I was speaking about this issue with a few of my friends. There was six of us and every one had had a bitter experience with sexual harassment or abuse. One had been harassed at the mosque, others at home by cousins, uncles, neighbors… Every story was a reiteration of the pain children, especially girl child, are too familiar with. I also shared my experience.
Years ago, when I was twelve, I went to the doctor because of a stomachache. The doctor, who was around fifty years old and high respected in the area, lived close to our house. My mother always stayed in the room when we went to the doctor. He began my check-up. First, he put the stethoscope on my body above the thin under shirt I was wearing, but then he left it on my stomach and moved his hand towards my breasts. I was twelve years old but I felt the abnormal touch and quickly sat on the checking table.
My mother was stunned by my quick movement, but the doctor said, “The stethoscope is cold. She got scared.”
This experience is still heavy on my mind. Years have gone by since it happened, but even now I sometimes blame myself for not telling the truth to my mother. I blame my mother for never telling me about sexual abuse when I was young, but I know none of us are to be blamed. Responsibility falls on the criminals who sexualize and abuse children’s bodies.
In the stories my friends and I shared there was one shared root and that was our lack of awareness about sexual abuse when we were children. We were all also scared of sharing our stories with our mothers because even though many mothers have had similar experiences, they are ashamed to talk about this important issue. Children have a right to know what sexual harassment and assault is so that they don’t perceive it as normal or a matter for shame for them. We must teach our children that if they are abused, there is no reason for them to feel shame or be silent, but the perpetrators are the ones who must fear consequences and face shame.
Read this piece in Persian here.